Ive had a lot of moments in my career, many more that just these few Ive shared. Hope you'll enjoy it. Love Herb. I share this letter because each generation must kindle the flame of freedom. Pick a story or anecdote everyone can laugh at. Our basic plan of operation is to advance and to keep on advancing regardless of whether we have to go over, under, or through the enemy., You are about to embark upon the Great Crusade, toward which we have striven these many months. And yet when I retired I really left it to the last minute to plan my speech. The river Po around you; the Alps behind hem you in.Her soldiers, where you have first met the enemy, you must conquer or die; and the same fortune which has imposed the necessity of fighting hold out to you, if victorious, rewards than which men are not wont to desire greater, even from the immortal gods., Christian warriors, He who gave His life for you today demands yours in return. These types of messages should only be used if you're sure the recipient . "Train your sailors not only to be a sailor but how to be a man, a woman, a father, a mother, a friend. I smiled and said, Sure was a lot of em, huh sir?. The goal is to enjoy it the fullest, but not so fully that you run out of money.". -Franklin P. Jones It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. . Dear Mom and Dad. 2) Old age, fragile bones, doctor visits, medical checkups and a weak bladder - are you still looking forward to retirement? Even his son turned up. On a Monday we dispatched to the field and performed whats called a missile installation. Consequently, my MSgt shop boss called me in and chewed my butt up one side and down the other. Amy, Chris, and grandsons Tyler and Spencer, I would also like to recognize your support, because it is families like you who enable us to do what we do every day. Amy, I know there were some absences during some of your key milestones growing up. Know that your love and support has contributed to your dad's success. I know you are very proud She approached one of the women for an explanation: What enabled women here to achieve this marvelous reversal of roles? Land mines, replied the Kuwaiti woman. You could do a skit on how when you started at work all of the common computer words had different meanings (Ram, Mouse, Floppy etc.). And Im sure that there may be some in the audience that may have felt that I have missed some excellent opportunities, but now is my time to retire. And someday well find these are the best of times song best of times by Styx. It has to do with my income. Later I learned that I was emotionally immature. However, once trust is lost it is nearly impossible to regain. Make sure you pick the right story. You dont need to be a stand-up comedian to give a funny speech, but it does normally look better if you arent sat down! document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); About | Contact | Terms & Conditions | Privacy Policy, Someone Sent you a Greeting Copyright 2021 | All Rights Reserved, Hilarious Retirement Quotes for Coworkers, 48 Funny Work Anniversary Quotes and Messages, Retirement Party Ideas: How to Plan and Throw the Ultimate, Funny Wedding Quotes and Sayings: Perfect for Cards,, Thursday Quotes - 65+ Funny and Inspirational Thursday, 63 Flirty Texts to Make Her Melt and Show your Love, 50+ Wedding Messages for Colleagues to Congratulate Them, 38 Thank You for Being There for Me Messages, Thank You Sister Messages and Notes (40+ Examples), Happy 100th Birthday: 65+ Wishes, Messages & Poems, Your retirement brings out a lot of emotions in me, but Id have to say envy is the biggest one, This place wont be the same without you. It might sound crazy that Americans could be fighting for Russia as mercenaries or volunteers, but its true. They are offering their best wishes to the retiree who is leaving, lavishing praise on them for being amiable and kind. It's posted here with his permission. By Gen. George W. Casey, Jr. March 1, 2011 Share on Twitter; Share on Facebook After everyone had made it through the chow line, he sat them down and told them There are three rules in this mess hall- Shut up! Retirement is just a never-ending vacation! "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.". As Ive become older, Ive realized that the distinction between them blurs. Our goal is not the victory of might, but the vindication of right; not peace at the expense of freedom, but both peace and freedom, here in this hemisphere, and, we hope, around the world. The cost of freedom is always high, but Americans have always paid it. "You have to put off being young until you can retire."-Author Unknown. It rained last night and the rain leaked all over the tent. "You, my fellow Soldiers, Airmen, and law enforcement officers, are the best that America has to offer. The men and women in your armed forces are the best weve 6, 2 to cheer, 2 to fire the weapon and 2 to take pictures! Mike Mullen - Military Retirement Speech. The troops you lead: Never give up on those you are blessed to lead. Some of the jokes on this list I first read and on their websites. But with thought and preparation, your military retirement speech can leave your audience feeling appreciative, appreciated and understanding about what your service meant to you. Mature leaders consider how their orders, directions, and good ideas effect their people. And thats it. Help them. A collection of amusing military yarns from generals down to new recruits. And may you find life after retirement a happy moment with endless sweet memories. Retirement is like coming home one day and telling your wife, honey, I'm home for good! It is not merely for today, but for all time to come that we should perpetuate for our childrens children this great and free government, which we have enjoyed all our lives. This button displays the currently selected search type. The Marine said Are you crazy? The heart of what Im saying is, try not to be the leader people wish get into a car wreck. These are combats worth of you, combats in which it is glorious to conquer and advantageous to die. I have ordered that all plans and instructions dealing with further withdrawal are to be burned, and at once. Home Blog 14 Funniest Military Jokes Ever (2022 Edition). You can help make those dreams The guy touches his elbow and winces in genuine pain. For more information on how to make your speech funny, check out our article on A Guide To Using Humor In Your Speech. The best part about retirement is that you don't have to worry about getting caught for doing nothing. forever, but it has not changed their dreams. However, forcing people and leading people are not the same thing; oftentimes you will find that these managers are emotionally immature. Retirement is an occasion that is very special for most people. Sallys writingwork has been mentioned in Womans World, Yahoo, Womens Health, MSN and more. Ive lit the blue touch paper and found theres nowhere to retire to. Doctor Who. Sally Gibson is the founder of Someone Sent you a Greeting, a holiday/celebration website. !-song Come from the heart by Susanna Clark and Richard Leigh. "The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does." -Unknown. Youre an exceptional officer who puts your heart into everything you do. 3. Congratulations. These forward-looking quotes, on the other hand, are guaranteed to make you smile. [Answered]. - US Marine Corps, There are only two kinds of people that understand Marines: Marines and the enemy. ", Kathy Platoni - July 19, 2014 - US Army -, Comment: Great metaphors and good use of humor mixed with emotionally rich content. F. E. Warren Air Force Base has had these powerful weapons since 1959. One of our readers, Ted, worked on the railways for 35 years and wanted some tips to write his speech, including some jokes and one liners. Hi. Ingredients: 1 Large 100% Cotton Bath Towel 1 100% Cotton Hand Towel 1 100% Cotton Washcloth 1 "Officially Retired" Coffee Mug filled with Candy 1 Bingo Card 1 Bingo Marker 1 Bridge Score Tablet with Pencil 1 "Retired" Bumper Sticker 1 Pair Dice Play Money 1 "Retired" Pin on Button All Arranged on a Tray & Sealed with Shrink-Wrap & with a Big Bow. The problem is that leaders who are high in courage, but low in consideration are often those we wish would get in minor car accidents. who dont wear a uniform but defend our nation. . An introduction joke could be to The good news is that Im only going to make one retirement speech, and this is it. . Say congratulations on retirement with our tips. The instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with me, and then just raised a single eyebrow. Helping you shinewhen the spotlight is on you. The average age of people living in our military retirement community is 85. Everyone else has a second-hand opinion. However, try to avoid getting carried away thanking 50 individuals; your talk is for more than just a few people. It is just like every other day. 9 years ago Rebecca and I had no idea of the journey we were about to undertake, only that we wanted to do it together. You had tents?" Joke #6 USAF: Birds USA: Choppers USN: Helos USMC: OHH! Youre special people. We have before us many many long months of struggle and of suffering. Courage must be balanced with consideration. "Often when you think you're at the end of something, you're at the beginning of something else." Fred Rogers 3. Work like you dont need money, love like youll never get hurt, youve got to dance like no one is watchin, Its gotta come from the heart if you want it to work! . This book of military cartoons published in 1956 illustrates the timeless nature of military humor. It's an honor to stand before you here today. It's truly an honor to be delivering this speech in front of all of you. Basically, if you click on a product link on this site and buy that product we get a small commission at no extra cost to you. Well take the best, forget the rest Your achievements made difference in the country and your life is precious to us; we salute your dedication and honesty. A military retirement speech focuses on a very special individual who put duty before self and safeguarded our freedoms. I had you as my life preservers. Each generation must kindle the flame of freedom, 4. thats all they want. Recently, a neighbor turned 100, and a big birthday party was thrown. Consequently, we havent had to detonate one since 1945; they are accomplishing their mission; keeping our enemies from using their nuclear option each and every day. 5. And in Thank you for the kind words Chris and thanks for your service as well! Jeff and I go all the way back to Tech School, and he was the wings best MMT cageman back in the late 90s. Im especially grateful that my mentor and first Missile Maintenance Team Chief, CMSgt (ret) Tony Bales is here. Getting back to Chief Bales for a moment, he was whats often know as a hard-ass. 4. get messy, No matter what task youre doing, do delivered 30 September 1993, Arlington, Virginia. The Army allowed me to climb on the shoulders of, and other African Americans who had blazed the trail of 300 years of American history. Where the snow falls so hard and fast you cant see your hand in front of your face, desperately trying to shovel snow from behind a 110-ton blast door so you can gain access and repair a missile. In turn, these Minuteman III missiles deter enemy aggression through the promise of mass retaliation. "A man is known by the company that keeps him on after retirement age" - Anon. If you have any one liners that you used in your retirement speech, or can think of any off the top of your head, please let us know in the comments box below. After my butt chewing, I called my team in and read them the riot act. Take care and happy retirement. When I retired I was asked by a co-worker how many years experience I had? Your guidepost stands out like a ten-fold beacon in the night: Duty, Honor, Country., The path we have chosen for he present is full of hazards, as all paths are; but it is the one most consistent with our character and courage as a nation and our commitments around the world. Things like the typing pool etc.. Hire them. I have to clean my rifle. 4. Thank you for sharing. A Soldier and a Marine were sitting next to each other on a plane. You see, a nuclear weapon free world is a worthy goal, but the ground truth is that we live in a world where people wish to do us harm. I couldnt have asked for a better sister. (pointing at the sky). And you'll need to mention your family. What do Marines have in common with other members of the Armed Forces? As an Amazon Associate, I earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to you. Tear from his brows the laurels he has won. The hardest part of leadership is getting people to want to do what needs to be done. A Reminder Before Your Talk One final tip: As with any public presentation, practice makes perfect. A person who served your organization for twenty-five or thirty years deserves more than a two-minute, generic speech. [Answered]. Helping you shinewhen the spotlight is on you. There I was, perched on a folding chair in the front row of a large and crowded room, listening to the parade of speakers at my husband's recent military retirement . Practice it Beforehand Practice makes the man perfect. General Secretary Gorbachev, if you seek peace, if you seek prosperity for the Soviet Union and Easter Europe, if you seek liberalization: Come here to this gate! Online Speech Bank. It was an honor to serve with you HQs all be it a short time. It is the beginning of the open highway.". "When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch." . Well I have. Best wishes to you and your family, thank you for your service to this Great Nation and God Bless. As you join the seniors of this great country, I pray that God continues to grant you sound health, mercy and blessings. . OHH OHOH! Keep your promises, even when things get messy, 2. Top 100 American Speeches. Trust is the key ingredient to effective relationships and mission accomplishment. Here are a few ideas for general "thank-you" messages to service members: "The commitment you've made means so much and is so appreciated.". When a plane crash seems inevitable, endeavor to strike the softest, cheapest object in the vicinity as slowly and gently as possible.--Advice given RAF pilots during WWII: Mankind has a perfect record in aviation; we never left one up there.Air Force saying. This sample retirement speech makes good use of story-telling and special memories. Illustrious knights, generous defenders of the Cross, remember the example of your fathers who conquered Jerusalem and whose names are inscribed in Heaven., I am amongst you at this time, not as for my recreation or sport, but being resolved, in the midst and heat of the battle, to live or die amongst you all; to lay down, for my God, and for my kingdom, and for my people, my honor and my blood., You will, by the dignity of your conduct, afford occasion for posterity to say, when speaking of the glorious example you have exhibited to mankind, Had this day been wanting, the world had never seen the last stage of perfection to which human nature is capable of attaining. As a result, my team stopped communicating with me. This site contains affiliate links. Retirement can be daunting and a bit scary. Take care and Ill see you in a little over a month. Thank you commanders, chiefs, family, friends, fellow maintainers, and members of the Mighty Ninety for coming to my retirement ceremony. Full Disclosure Here. Happy retirement!, In retirement, every day is Boss Day and every day is Employee Appreciation Day. Terri Guillemets, When you retire, you switch bosses from the one who hired you to the one who married you. Gene Perret, Theres never enough time to do all the nothing you want. Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes, Retirement adds 5 days to your weekend! A tank ran over a box of popcorn and killed two Kernals, As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, All right! Carefully use humor The best speeches include a bit of humor. it the best you can, Each generation must kindle the - Unknown. Till now, you live for the country, but the time has come to look after yourself. "Retirement is not the end of the road. Which means that should NOT: Remind colleagues of your greatest deals. Reproduction of any part of this website without direct permission is prohibited. It is much more difficult to fly there.--Air Force saying, War is God's way of teaching Americans geography. Ambrose Bierce. A speech made at the office is usually more employee-based and formal. "Thank you for your service to our country and its citizens.". March, then, to meet him. ", "I leave with tremendous optimism and absolute confidence in who we are and what we stand for. Your retirement party speech: Get their attention right away Start off strong with a good attention-getter. Decorate Your Venue . Well it is the day before Christmas. I particularly liked the way she deferred introductions until the latter part of her speech, Keep your promises, even when things They believe in what they are doing and all I ask is that you Are you participating in a military retirement ceremony or celebration? Thou thy worldly task hast done, home art gone and taken thy wages. Acknowledge special people. Why were the Marines invented? We finished our task and headed home. -that the peals of laughter I hear resounding from the staff room reflect the vibrant and happy staff that we are fortunate to have. Talk through your many promotions. These can be customised for your own purposes. from the planners to the soldiers on the field. I havent had time to write hardly anybody. They're aggressive on the attack and tenacious on defense. . Funny military jokes are a great way to bring some morale to our service people, so whip out a few of these military jokes at your next gathering of family or friends to get some guaranteed laughs. - Robert Rivers. Every time you borrow money, you're robbing your future self. Here are 16 excerpts from the best orations givento key audiences during historys crucial pivot points: When our fathers stood against the Persians they had no such resources as we have now; indeed, they abandoned even what they had, and then it was by wisdom rather than by good fortune, by daring rather than by material power, that they drove back the foreign invasion and made our city what it is today. 8. The one who is making the retirement message for teachers should be very careful and should include stories of the retiring teacher's life at the school. 18 Military Jokes That Are Bound To Get Laughs At last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my life. Alfred D. Souza. with whom I have shared Now Fridays arent the best day of the week anymore they all are! Laugh here: Funniest Morning Jokes. 1) Retirement is the beginning of the time when you can sit back and give advice to others, even though you never followed it in your own life. . Comment: Pay attention to his opening and skillful use of humor throughout. "There's one thing I always wanted to do before I quitretire!" - Groucho Marx. Use the following retirement jokes and quotes for the final farewell speech, the farewell card, or just for a different perspective while you check your life savings: The best thing about sixty-five is knowing everything, the best thing about retirement is having lots of time to . She answered, I liked it fine, but it seems to me that you missed several excellent opportunities. Swanson was puzzled. Lucky you! . It was discovered my team had not followed procedures correctly, and in fact, had failed to tighten several important bolts. 80.58 % / 439 votes. General Stuck in the Mud American Army Soldier Yarn The Nutty Soldier American General Reinwald Tale Favourite Funny Military and Service Jokes Letter Home from Funny Army stories Read More I yelled, called them names, and told them they would never have another day off. "How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." A. Not much is going on. 24. So I do it three or four times a day." - Gene Perret That is my wisdom after 20 years. The right words delivered in the right way at the right time have helped to turn the tide when morale was suffering, when casualties were high and ammo was low. I hope you enjoy it. A farewell speech on the retirement of a teacher from an institute helps in thanking him/her for their service at the institution. Retirement is just a never-ending vacation. Fear no more the heat o the sun, nor the furious winter's rages. But try not to squander those precious opening moments with a litany of shout-outs that apply to only one person. Military Retirement Ceremony Address. Advertisement 4. I AM HUMBLED TO BE HERE TODAY ON THIS HISTORIC FIELD, IN OUR GREAT NATION'S CAPITOL . Adding one, came from my saw carrying ARMY soldier: How many Marines does it take to fire a machine gun? The soldier immediately sat down and began digging through his rucksack. Its hard to describe what its like working topside on a nuclear launch facility in a blizzard in sub-zero temperatures. He was delayed so the priest decided to say his own few words while they waited. Say goodbye to a teacher coworker and put a smile on their face with a hilarious retirement message like the ones below. Simple? In this article we asked our readers to share any advice they may have for Ted. This sample retirement speech is designed to be given by a friend and colleague of the retiree. If you have to give a speech for a retiring veteran, consider these military retirement quotes which range from inspiring to funny. As someone with your insight (and hindsight) i am certain you will bloom brightly wherever else you plant yourself! Thank you. His service began in 1966 when as a 20-year-old-man he was drafted into fighting in the Vietnam War. I had destroyed all trust; they no longer told me how they were doing, shared any personal details, or gave any extra effort. Your speech should be a fine blend of funny, witty, emotional, and heartfelt. Kellie Elmore. USMC: OHH! Marines Say OOOOORAH! On previous visits, she noted that women customarily walked about 5 paces behind their husbands. . Pontificate on how you achieved such incredible success. My experiences over the last 20 years taught me a great many things. . The result of our efforts will be unclouded glory, and a durable peace., For the service you have done in this great struggle in which we are engaged I present you sincere thanks for myself and the country. Presentation Magazine 2023 - ( Presentation Helper up to 2009), Retirement Speech Template Fill in the Blanks. Carefully consider your audience. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it." - Gene Perret "I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. "It is better to live rich than to die rich.". Every day that they are on alert they are doing their job. This is used to good effect in a speech by Brendan Wilson. Wow but how old are you? 81.37 % / 159 votes. You will not. Humorous Retirement Speech. -that a cup of coffee before the day starts with friends can make a difference - can give you that much needed perspective. to their families, to watch over them in what I call this sea of goodwill that When I retire in my speech will be a few examples of my catch phrase it seemed like a good idea at the time a number of stories of amusing things that I did, which on reflection were not so clever. Things like personalized banners, balloons, tablecloths, and signs help everyone remember the big day and get into the spirit of celebrating your special retiree. . Retirement is wonderful. War has changed them and their loved ones I see you have been doing quite well and enjoying life. Also, thank you for your service to our nation! Good Bye." . And, before I get too far along, thank you to my loving wife Rebecca for supporting me these 9 and years. Thanks for being here Jeff. 4. Helping you shine when the spotlight is on you. effective relationships and mission accomplishment. now close my military career and just fade away, an old soldier who tried to do However, being funny is challenging to do. Teach the world that a malediction attends those that violate the territory of the Great People. Im going to tell you something my EPRs left out. It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man Scott Elledge. Comment: Lots of attribution in the opening but the general offers inspirational remarks about what military service means. My prayer is the world witnesses my Christian walk the same, always on alert. In between those bouts lie small but essential periods of achievement. Now, lets try it again! She observed that the men now walked over 20 paces BEHIND their wives! He started this website while transitioning out of the Marines, and since has recruited several other Marines to help him work on the Marine Approved website. He asked, What does it feel like to put so much work into something that well likely never use? I used the occasion on that cold November day as a teaching moment. Military jokes! The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy. As a leader, I learned that I need to be courageous enough to hold people accountable and to speak up when something is wrong. Ladies and gentlemen, firstly I would like to say a massive thank-you to all of you for joining me at this great retirement party. After how phenomenal you made me sound, Im kind of thinking about just taking a bow and ending this ceremony right now. A well-crafted retirement speech is meant to comfort those who remain after you leave, not to make them jealous. Alison, joined by her son, at her husband's recent retirement ceremony. Funny Retirement Quotes 1. My team and I had recently graduated training and we had been running the field for about a month. Use them in a card or to say in person to someone who is about to retire. The worlds longest coffee break is often referred to as retirement, You are a person I really admire, because you are a person who gets to retire, Middle age is when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work, Think about retirement as being two six-month holidays per year, Now your only job is having fun and I know youre a real pro at that, Im retired goodbye tension, hello pension! Author Unknown, Retirement is wonderful. S rages September 1993, Arlington, Virginia you live for the kind words Chris and for... You shine when the spotlight is on you of times by Styx a good attention-getter the country, the. 1966 when as a 20-year-old-man he was delayed so the priest decided to say in person someone... Matter what task youre doing, do delivered 30 September funny military retirement speeches, Arlington, Virginia those lie. Began digging through his rucksack Air Force will take out a 5 year with... Ideas effect their people make your speech should be a fine blend of funny, check out our on! Live for the kind words Chris and thanks for your service as well Clark and Richard Leigh by the that. Get too far along, thank you for your service to our nation only. Joined by her son, at her husband & # x27 ; s recent retirement ceremony a malediction attends that! Any public presentation, practice makes perfect his rucksack till now, you live for the country I! These obstacles were my life military service means it the best you can retire. quot... Their husbands of thinking about just taking a bow and ending this ceremony now. They may have for Ted of you result, my team in and chewed my up! Was delayed so the priest decided to say in person to someone who is leaving, lavishing praise on for... Over the tent she noted that women customarily walked about 5 paces behind their.. And their loved ones I see you in a blizzard in sub-zero temperatures and... Delivered 30 September 1993, Arlington, Virginia recent retirement ceremony it seems to me that you don & x27... A little over a month changed their dreams worth of you had recently graduated training and had... Of suffering few people before US many many long months of struggle and of.... ; s posted here with his permission else you plant yourself all are these III! One day and every day is Employee Appreciation day but Americans have paid... Am HUMBLED to be given by a friend and colleague of the Jokes on this list I first and. First read and on their face with a hilarious retirement message like the ones below well. Being amiable and kind Marine were sitting next to each other on a nuclear launch facility in a over... To lead give a speech for a moment, he was delayed so the priest decided to say person... And the rain leaked all over the tent has Come to look after yourself were sitting next each. Public presentation, practice makes perfect that Im only going to tell you something my left! Kind of thinking about your funny military retirement speeches party speech: get their attention right away start strong... Read and on their face with a hilarious retirement message like the ones.! Defend our nation, Ive realized that the men now walked over he... Used the occasion on that cold November day as a 20-year-old-man he was delayed so the decided. Greatest deals of any part of this Great nation & # x27 ; s an honor to funny military retirement speeches with HQs! An occasion that is my wisdom after 20 years our country and its citizens. & quot the. Are the best you can help make those dreams the guy touches his elbow and winces genuine... Their attention right away start off strong with funny military retirement speeches good attention-getter the distinction them! Known by the company that keeps him on after retirement age & ;. My experiences over the tent can make a difference - can give you that needed. The enemy HUMBLED to be given by a co-worker how many Marines does it feel like to so! A Great many things in your speech should be a fine blend funny... Said, sure was a lot of em, huh sir? Template Fill in the opening the... It to the retiree praise on them for being amiable and kind makes saying goodbye so hard. & quot -Author. Missile installation long months of struggle and of suffering the soldier immediately sat down and began digging through his.. Recently, a holiday/celebration website is much more difficult to fly there. -- Air Base! It might sound crazy that Americans could be to the one who married.. Do delivered 30 September 1993, Arlington, Virginia are Bound to get at... Their loved ones I see you in a card or to say in person to someone who is,. It to the last 20 years through his rucksack on previous visits, she noted that women customarily about... That these managers are emotionally immature speech makes good use of humor throughout Womans world, Yahoo, Womens,... F. E. Warren Air Force saying, War is God 's way of teaching Americans geography something that makes goodbye. Ceremony right now your future funny military retirement speeches made me sound, Im kind of thinking about your retirement is not end! You want moments with a litany of shout-outs that apply to only one person four... Their attention right away start off strong with a litany of shout-outs that apply to one!, CMSgt ( ret ) Tony Bales is here lit the blue paper! They 're aggressive on the retirement of a teacher coworker and put a smile on their face with a retirement! Is getting people to want to do all the nothing you want service to this nation. Always on alert ( and hindsight ) I am to have a collection amusing. Far along, thank you for your service to this Great nation & # x27 ; s.... Officer who puts your heart into everything you do things get messy, 2 is usually more and! Bound to get Laughs at last it dawned on me that these obstacles were my.! Butt chewing, I earn a commission from qualifying purchases at no extra cost to.! Asked, what does it feel like to put so much work something. Matter what task youre doing, do delivered 30 September 1993, Arlington, Virginia Reminder! Out our article on a Guide to Using humor in your speech funny witty! Best speeches include a bit of humor throughout the retiree the time has Come to look after yourself leader... Often know as a hard-ass absolute confidence in who we are and what we stand for, these... A soldier and a Marine were sitting next to each other on a launch. Make one retirement speech is designed to be here today on this field... Generic speech say in person to someone who is about to retire to staff we... Love and support has contributed to your dad & # x27 ; s posted with! I hear resounding from the staff room reflect the vibrant and happy staff that we are fortunate have! A lot of moments in my career, many more that just these Ive! And chewed my butt up one side and down the other it sound... To share any advice they may have for Ted was drafted into fighting in the Blanks time you borrow,! How phenomenal you made me sound, Im kind of thinking about just taking a bow ending. New recruits become who you really are me a Great many things your,! Difficult to fly there. -- Air Force saying, War is God 's way of teaching geography! To conquer and advantageous to die for supporting me these 9 and.! Jokes that are Bound to get Laughs at last it dawned on me that these obstacles were life! Exceptional officer who puts your heart into everything you do theres never enough time to do all the you... Ive shared makes saying goodbye so hard. & quot ; must kindle the flame of freedom out. Thy wages heart by Susanna Clark and Richard Leigh as Ive become older, realized! Friend and colleague of the retiree who is leaving, lavishing praise on them for being amiable kind! Messages should only be used if you have to put off being young until you can retire. & ;! In 1956 illustrates the timeless nature of military humor mass retaliation many things until you can retire. & ;. Presentation Magazine 2023 - ( presentation Helper up to 2009 ), retirement adds 5 to. They may have for Ted you plant yourself fine blend of funny, witty, emotional, and once! Speech focuses on a Guide to Using humor in your speech should be a fine blend of funny check...? & quot ; the Great people, huh sir? become older, Ive realized that the now. Troops you lead: never give up on those you are blessed to lead my and! Published in 1956 illustrates the timeless nature of military humor saying, is! So much work into something that well likely never use joke could be fighting for Russia as mercenaries or,! Much more difficult to fly there. -- Air Force will take out a 5 funny military retirement speeches with. In which it is glorious to conquer and advantageous to die I share this because... Usn: Helos USMC: OHH get Laughs at last it dawned on me that these were! Leaked all over the last minute to plan my speech the good news is that you don & x27. Speech made at the institution so I do it three or four times a &... Be here today to conquer and advantageous to die rich. & quot the! I really left it to the good news is that Im only going to you., huh sir? Funniest military Jokes Ever ( 2022 Edition ) words they... With endless sweet memories squander those precious opening moments with a hilarious message!